Things I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Mom

Becoming a mom is an amazing adventure, but it comes with surprises. Looking back, there are a few things I wish I knew beforehand. For new or expecting moms, here are some insights that might help.

1. Your Identity Will Shift, But You Won’t Disappear

Before becoming a mom, I knew who I was and had my own path. Motherhood changes that, but I wish I had known you don’t lose yourself. It’s okay to keep parts of your pre-mom self while still being a loving, present mother.

2. Mom Guilt Is Real—But You Don’t Have to Let It Control You

No one told me about “mom guilt”—the constant questioning of every decision. Am I doing enough? Am I doing it right? But no mom is perfect, and that’s okay. Trust yourself and know that you’re doing your best, and that’s enough.

3. Self-Care Isn’t Selfish, It’s Essential

Motherhood demands a lot, but I wish I knew sooner that self-care isn’t selfish. Taking time for yourself helps you recharge, and it makes you a better mom.

4. You Can’t Control Everything, and That’s Okay

Before becoming a mom, I thought I could plan everything perfectly. Spoiler: kids don’t follow plans! Some days, nothing goes as expected, and that’s okay. Flexibility is key—embrace the chaos and find joy in the unexpected.

5. Your Relationships Will Change

I wish I knew that motherhood changes not only your relationship with yourself but also with your partner, family, and friends. Balancing these shifts is tough, but nurturing those connections and having open conversations is essential for your well-being.

6. Every Child Is Different, and Comparisons Are Futile

Before becoming a mom, I had a vague idea that kids are unique, but it wasn’t until I had my own that I truly understood this. Each child has their own personality, needs, and developmental pace. What works for one might not work for another. Comparing your child to others or trying to follow someone else’s parenting style can lead to unnecessary stress. Instead, embrace your child’s individuality and trust your own parenting instincts.

7. It’s Okay to Ask for Help

I used to think I had to do it all myself—be the supermom who juggles everything effortlessly. But I’ve learned that asking for help is not a sign of weakness. Whether it’s leaning on family, hiring a babysitter, or simply reaching out to friends for support, accepting help when you need it is crucial. No mom is an island, and there’s strength in recognizing when you could use a hand.

8. You Will Miss the Little Things—Even the Tough Ones

When you’re in the thick of sleepless nights, temper tantrums, and endless laundry, it’s hard to imagine missing these moments. But as your child grows, you realize that the chaotic, exhausting days are fleeting. There will come a time when you long for the sound of tiny feet running around the house or the days when your little one needed you for everything. Try to cherish the present, even during the challenging times.

9. Trust Yourself—You’re the Expert on Your Child

You’ll get advice from every corner—family, friends, doctors, parenting books, the internet. While some of it may be helpful, no one knows your child like you do. I wish I had realized sooner that I didn’t need to follow every piece of advice to the letter. Trust your instincts. You are the expert when it comes to your child, and your gut feelings are often spot on.

10. Motherhood Is a Journey, Not a Destination

Finally, I wish I had known that motherhood is an ongoing process. There’s no perfect mom, no final destination where you’ve “figured it all out.” It’s a journey of growth for both you and your children. Along the way, you’ll make mistakes, learn, and keep evolving. And that’s okay because, in the end, it’s the love, the lessons, and the shared experiences that matter most.

Conclusion

Motherhood is filled with joys, challenges, and everything in between. While no one can fully prepare you for the experience, knowing that it’s okay to grow, change, and ask for help can make the journey a little easier. Embrace the imperfections, trust yourself, and most importantly, enjoy the ride—it’s a beautiful one.